Merry Christmas from Snake America (gift inside)
Leg Day Observer will return next week.
Readers: Thank you so much for subscribing to and reading Snake America in Anno 2017. As a small token of my appreciation, I've executed and designed some iPhone 6s, 7, 8, X and 4s-compatible wallpapers, available for download here. This way, you can think about my magazine -- the world's smallest, least important and most important media company there is, which gets better every day, which never publishes, which has no copy editor, or managing editor, or manager, or creative director, or sourcer, or graphic artist, or success manager, or platform specialist, or social media intern, or vice president, or traveling secretary, or writer-at-large, or dance editor, or recipes editor, or bowling writer emeritus on staff, and everything, including the art for the t-shirts, and the wallpapers below, and the typos,is done by me -- when you are waiting in line, in the commode, in an airport, bored at dinner, bored at lunch?, on the train, making love or being made love to, when it is right before you're going to sleep, right before you wake up, just a bit after you wake up, in the middle of fitful sleep, when you are watching a movie, watching the previews, only during the ads before the previews, when there is any break in the conversation whatsoever, as soon as you sit down in the Uber, two songs into a band or singer or pianist or DJ's set of live music, right after getting your sandwich order, at the bar, etc.
iPhone screen savers are below. These are designed to be your phone background, or on your lockscreen forever. To use them, simply press on the image, follow the prompt to "download" the attachment, go into your iPhone settings, then images, then background, then save as background, then when it prompts you to resize, say "no," then click OK, then approve, then reset your phone. Then do the same thing for the lock screen. Reminder: only download the screensaver for whatever phone version it is you have. Otherwise, it won't work.
iPhone 6 compatible:
"Subscribe 2 Snake USA -- Raymond Pettibon and Snake America, 1986" taken off an old promotional postcard for one of Pettibon's mid-1980s art shows. That address is a cocktail bar now, but remains across the street from a Goodwill. Pettibon lives near 9/11 and if you know the right people, will draw an illustration of his choosing for $1,000. Conception and execution by Sam Reiss for Snake America Graphic Design -- DM for price and availability.
iPhone 6s compatible:
"Snake America Admin as Third Text as popular meme, 2017" a play on the popular meme from November 2017, of two types of bad vibes sneaking up the subject, and addressing him or her, and a third thing that is not a bad vibe similarly addressing the subject, which makes it funny. One popular example of the third thing was Stuart Little — the mouse — texting about his small red car. In this case the third thing is awe-inspiring editorial success and thematic integrity and excellence of Snake America, a media company without peer that also makes t-shirts. It's funny because at the same time, it's only an email newsletter. What have they done again? I have an idea. Conception and execution by Sam Reiss for Snake America Graphic Design -- DM for price and availability.
iPhone X compatible:
"Snake America on Peter Shire's television, from his Apartmento Magazine profile from 2015, 2017" originally a photograph of important Los Angeles artist and furniture designer Peter Shire's television tuned to the television show "Perry Mason." This was first featured in a spread for Apartmento Magazine. His crib is so insane. I think his is the best interior design I have ever seen, along with the Finn Juhl house in Copenhagen. Both are artists and furniture builders. Coincidence? Two differing approaches, to be sure. But man, what a house. I think about it once a week at least. Shire's work and life also present a strong argument for living in Los Angeles, to me, way more than the work of David Hockney or Ed Ruscha. Also in The New Yorker’s profile of George Meyer, he said he likes LA because every morning Dean Martin was getting breakfast there. I guess they also make very good cases. Conception by Sam Reiss; Execution by Andrew Peden for Snake America Graphic Design -- DM for contact info.
iPhone 7 compatible:
"Connor Donegan, in Raiders ski mask, throwing a NERF football in the style of Matt Warnke, 2017," originally a photo of Coner Donegan, college student and drummer, throwing a football to an out-of-frame friend, on the 1500 block of U St. NW in Washington, DC. That’s the block Joint Custody is on. The photo and pose reference Matt Warnke's 500-yard perfect spiral throw of a football across an entire indoor auditorium in Wilkes-Barre, Penn., in 2005, that hit a girl right in the head and knocked her glasses off. She wasn't injured, and her glasses didn’t break. It remains the single greatest athletic achievement I have ever seen, and I think about it every day. I work in sports and will never witness anything as impressive as that ever again. My entire youth led up to me being present for that football throw. Moving on, the letters "SNAKE" have been added diagonally to Conar's plain black shirt as a preview of Snake America's upcoming t-shirt. The new shirt, which is coming soon, will look more or less like this, but much, much better. Connor, for his efforts, will get one free t-shirt; everyone else has to pay American money. Conception and execution by Sam Reiss for Snake America Graphic Design -- DM for price and availability.
Special Longhorns Bowl season iPhone 4s screensaver:
"Texas' Vince Young and Coach Mack Brown and Mickey Mouse and three traitors in 2005, 2017," a photo of, from left, Texas quarterback and living deity Vince Young, and slightly less legendary but definitely legendary and pietistic Longhorns coach Mack Brown, posing here with Mickey Mouse (person inside), and an unnamed coach and two members of the USC Trojans football team. Photo was taken on Dec. 29, 2005, 239 days into Disneyland's 50th anniversary celebration and six days before the 2006 Rose Bowl, also the national championship game, which Texas won. Young, who led Texas to victory, is wearing the Mickey hands. I cut out the three USC principals from the photo and marked them as traitors, just like how that one guy was a traitor in Capone and Noreaga's "The War Report" album art. Texas lost to USC in September but plays them again in September. This horizontal image is perfect for your old phone or iPad. Conception and execution by Sam Reiss for Snake America Graphic Design -- DM for price and availability.
----no more wallpapers------
Thanks again for definitely downloading these iPhone wallpapers, and Happy Holiday season. If when you use these wallpapers as your iPhone backgrounds, do send us a photo.
Snake
Year end issue .... coming soon!