Snake America: Number 12
Snake is a bi-weekly email covering joints on eBay, Craigslist, YouTube, the bio-sphere, Biodome (USA, 1996), with errata, Ronaldo's haircut from the 1998 World Cup...
http://www.ebay.com/itm/200992620342 - they're filming The Intern (USA, ?) in my neighborhood, the new movie with Robert De Niro, Jr. and Anne Hathaway. De Niro's dad studied under Josef Albers... On the way home from work one night and down Clinton St., late, and the catering truck was set out but deserted, and they had a skid of water bottles out for the morning with no one there. It was maybe midnight, without a tarp or anything or a minder. They hung out there like early-delivery newspapers next to the box.
*
I didn't walk the same way to my morning train but I imagine nothing was nicked. An afternoon a week later I carried my groceries home down a different side street and was stopped by teenagers asking, "where is the movie?" They travelled in to see the shoot since no kid from the neighborhood would either want to know or not know. I'm not sure what the movie is about besides De Niro presumably being The Intern. Following curiosity is not a worthy pursuit here. I'm less sure about whether these spotlight lamps work in a house. They are certainly priced with that assumption in mind. Repurposed industrial furniture**, like this lamp, or those tables with wheels on them, are like fried calamari, exposed brick or a Nike Dunk. They were once good ideas, but are so far removed from their apotheosis that they're just trash now. They only work in theory, in a vacuum, or in Miami***. It's unfortunate since there's something here in the auction. Combing LIFE's archives should turn up photos with tasteful use of a movie spotlight, like Marlon Brando relaxing on-set or a bunch of extras or something. Fried calamari are fine with hot sauce. But justifying a purchase, much less regular use, requires intellectual calisthenics. If you get off the BQE on Atlantic and turn right off the exit, the sign for The Intern is to your right at the red light, still there on the lamppost next to the tennis courts.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/181356252129 - The Air Jordan wind pants work so well in theory and so terribly in practice that it's a wonder it was worn by athletes at all. To say nothing of Jordan himself. But that's a quibble. The oeuvre, monochromatic here, is nylon but has no give--think a windbreaker from the 1960s, a coach's jacket, or a too-small raincoat, or the world's most expensive plastic bag--so the wearer can barely do the splits, much less hover over a gang of kids in a playground**** and dunk. Still, they look so awesome in this photo. I speak from personal experience that the range of movement in the medium and extra-large are identical, but only one looks good. Even if you size up two sizes, you won't be able to move, and you'll look idiotic. Are skinny pants the future? Are tapered pants truly the present? Are baggy pants in the past? None of these questions matter compared to the ones that arise on deep contemplation of slate-and-darker-than-obsidian wind pants. Why do XL and M fit identical? Why can't I sit down wearing a size medium? Why is the XL not baggy, yet a lot bigger? Why can I barely sit down in an XL? Why do four sizes fit the same? Why do I feel obese but without the benefits? How could a shooting guard fit into these, much less hover over a gang of kids in a playground and dunk*****? Which one of Nike's nylon pants subcontractors went bankrupt, which is why there hasn't been a true retro of these? I haven't seen anyone wear these once.
Thanks, infinitely and always, for reading. Questions, tips, errors, complaints or perfect cubes can be sent here by reply. Thank you again.
Snake
* The middle one
**or lamps. Are lamps furniture?
*** Not like I don't order fried calamari if I feel like it. Not really worth thinking about or writing about, definitely worth eating, though.
**** My bad, that's for the VI, I think.
***** Ibid.