Snake America Seventy Three
Snake is a bi-weekly newsletter covering after-market goods on eBay. This week: eBay takes down a nude auction and seller, and a Jordan collection. Emails?
eBay, KISS self titled LP -- UNSOLD: A nice auction of the first KISS LP (USA 1974) where seller is naked and taking a photo of that fact and the LP. You can't see the auction anymore since eBay took it down. You can see a bit of him in the photo above and more in the photo linked in the footnote below(1). It's hard to tell what he looks like but it's also a little too clear. I thought the auction had completed but it got taken down. The seller, who was named cuje, with 2901 feedback, 100% positive the last 12 months, registered on March 16, 1999 under the name ***********@ml.com and who changed it to cuje a month later, is no longer a registered user. Off his completed auctions--I usually refer to sellers as he out of laziness but here it's confirmed-- the sold records(2) click to searches for similar items, and back-dooring the URLs with the item number (e.g. item.ebay.com/311448406827) loads a "not available" site. In the completed thumbnails of the no-sleeve 45s he was selling the photos are from the same position, hovering over the record. But is he nude?
It's too hard to tell. My friend sent me a photo of the B-side of the Circle Jerks "Group Sex" LP (USA 1980) auction which cuje was selling where he's even more naked(3). Shame on him. Though that was from the recent spate of auctions that included the Kiss LP. I messaged him through eBay--somehow--and am awaiting comment. A Kiss, eBay Twitter search yields a tweet narcing on the auction. So I guess that's why he was deleted? In the photo card in the tweet, bidding was up to $41 with ... if I remember right ... a couple, two days left. That record has gone for $80 sealed lately. I think most people are listening to KISS in the nude anyways.
eBay has an adult verification system, or it did. I remember sellers who would be selling tons of T-shirts at once would also have listings sprinkled between them that had the thumbnail and time left but with a link instead of a description. The link said that to see what the seller was selling you had to log in to a third-party age verification site, the name and particulars of which I don't remember.
An eBay-hosted message board discussion--subject from last year: "how is adult verification done?," body: "I buy painting which includes nudes......."--updates our narrator that the smutty auctions of today are hosted in a gated part of the site to North American bidders (no Mexico) only. Cnet.com said in 2002 that Disney had something to do with the smut being moved off the site proper. Searching for smut on eBay only works after the bidder confirms their age and holds a credit card in their name and has selected the category--Everything Else > Adult Only--and then clicked OK again. It's like turning the key in a submarine. Included in the Adult Only category are "clothing listings that contain nudity." This is a broad swath and explains why it's hard to get a good price on the Malcolm McLaren/Vivienne Westwood shirt that was sold in the Sex store. You know, the one from the 1970s that Steve Jones who played in the Sex Pistols wore on that TV interview. What a shirt. Though I'm not sure censorship is to blame. The Jones shirt sits in the "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" category. Anyways, I still haven't heard from cuje.
UPDATE: HE HAS BEEN NUDE THIS WHOLE TIME. (evidence: http://imgur.com/VTG7o3J)
(Portland) Craigslist: Michael Jordan uniform collection, $50,000: Big-lot auction short on details. This seller has no name and has been working at Nike for 30 years. His old gig--is he retired?--was "to deliver Michael his game uniforms," and he's been collecting those uniforms for six years. Jordan retired for the final time in 2003. On the docket are shoes, socks, shorts, jerseys, hats, etc. I can't remember if Adidas or Nike had the league contract that year. I want to say Adidas. Maybe he is thinking of another Michael Jordan. Complex says Jordan Brand split from Nike as a subsidiary in 1997. I don't know. I emailed the seller telling him I have $50,000 and some questions about the listing but haven't heard back. I'm not confident I will.I've had bad experiences with Oregonian Craigslist sellers. On March 10, 2009, I bought, via money order, a Pikachu Nintendo DS from a seller in Eastern Oregon, on the Medford, Ore. Craigslist. I have yet to receive my console, and, worse, I sold mine the day I sent out my order. My commute has not been the same since. That was one of four times I got ripped off online. Twice my item got lost in the mail (a CD in 2000, a nylon sweatshirt over Christmas), and the other time a Colorado man took my money but didn't send me my Air Jordan IIIs. That was in 2001. I don't think he ever had the Air Jordans but I'd love to find out what happened to my Nintendo DS.
Thanks for reading. Rest in power, Koopsta Knicca.
Snake
(1) Not everyone who reads my newsletter lives in New York City. Here is the photo of the full nudity presented in an auction for the self-titled KISS LP. Don't click that link unless you want to see what I have been describing. (imgur.com/92wo6Ol)
(2) SPIDER-MAN Rock Reflections Of A Superhero MINT orig first press '75 Lifesong lp, $10.50 2 bids; The BEATLES White Album STILL SEALED mid 70's Capitol pressing double (2) lp, $73.00 14 bids, etc.
(3) Here is the photo of the Circle Jerks LP where the seller is incredibly nude. The photo is not work safe. Don't click that link if you have taste or are employed. (imgur.com/vJJNdng)